[Fifties doo-wop feel, heavy reverb on lead singer, with a chorus in
the background singing shoe-shoe-shoe-ahhh, shoe-shoe-shoe-ahh...]

They tell me it's my duty
To woo and take a bride
Of grace and charm and beauty
But oh, I live a lie
And I'm so very blue
Cause no one knows 
I've got a thing for shoes

So now they'll throw a dance
Inviting all the girls
In hopes I'll find romance
But oh, where in the world
Will I find a girl who knows
How much I want to
Lick between her toes

I want to feel
The spikes of her stiletto heels
Oh, how I need
To taste the nectar of her feet

Spoken:
    Oh baby
    I know you're out there somewhere
    That perfect girl, with perfect feet
    Oh, but how will I know you when we meet?
    All the girls in this town
    They wear long dresses, and opaque shoes
    For all I know they've got bunions and nail fungus, oogh
    If only there were some excuse
    Some ruse I could use
    To get all the girls in the kingdom
    To take off their shoes
    Well then I'd hunt you far and wide, my darling
    And when I found you
    I'd take you in my arms
    And say...

I'm your footprince
Darling, darling, I'm your footprince
Please don't leave your footprince
Cause I know
That for you I could go off like a pistol...
If you wore pumps made out of crystal

Spoken:
        Oh, man, that would be *so hot*.

        ... I'm just looking for a sole mate, I guess